“You formed my inmost
being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made
me; wonderful are your works!” Psalm 139: 13-14
Last week was hard. While in the middle of conducting a retreat
for our parish middle school students, my wife called to tell me that she was
having a miscarriage. I was able to leave the retreat early and drove home to
grieve with and support my wife and other children. It was tough. It still is.
But at the same time, the grace of God has been blowing me away this past week
and I have been trying to soak it all in. What I realized as the days went by
was how much my son, Sebastian Luke, was able to teach the world in his short,
17 weeks of life.
Lesson #1: There IS a human baby in the womb, not just a bunch of cells. I
was given the privilege of preparing Sebastian’s body before we took him to the
funeral home. I washed his frail, almost perfect, little body and placed him in
a satin-lined box. Most of his older siblings had the sublime experience of
seeing his ten perfect toes and fingers, his little ears and nose (he had an
Anthony nose). There was no mistaking his miniature form as a human, not a
potential human, who simply needed time and nourishment before looking exactly
like you and me. I don’t know what the future holds for each of his siblings
that were able to gaze upon his body, but I know they will NEVER believe the
lie that what is inside the womb is not a human life.
Lesson #2: Tragedy bonds us in ways that nothing else can. It was moving to
see my oldest son overcome with grief for his little sibling that he would
never know or play with in this life. In the safe cocoon of our home and family
he did not have to be ashamed about lettings his emotions out. Sebastian taught
his older brother, and all of us, that life is precious and sacred and that it
is right to express sorrow when life is destroyed or lost or disrespected.
Sebastian taught us that we need to be more compassionate towards one another
and that we need to be more passionate about showing love to one another.
Lesson #3: Life is short and we need to cherish each moment. Whether you
live only 17 weeks in the womb or you live to be 117, life is going to seem
short. Especially when compared to eternity. What Sebastian taught us is that
we need to stop sweating the small stuff and start living each day with eternal
vision, recognizing that each day could be our last and that we will be meeting
the Lord sooner rather than later. Sebastian taught us to live for HEAVEN—the
place where we will one day meet him. Sebastian taught us to have our
priorities straight.
Lesson #4: Funerals are important. It was an honor to be able to pray over
his little body, carry his coffin and to help place it in the ground and cover
it with flowers and dirt. As I shoveled the earth into the grave I was reminded
that we came from dust and that we would return to dust. Sebastian taught me
humility in that moment. Who is Scott Anthony? Nothing more than an imperfect
child of God, imperfect husband and father, imperfect son and brother and
imperfect youth minister and Catholic speaker; in fact, in 150 years, no one
living now will even have a clue about who I was. But God knows me and He has
given me THIS day, THIS moment, THIS time in salvation history to be His follower
and to learn to love as He loved. Sebastian taught me that everyone is
important and known by God and that I need to cherish each moment and live each
day to serve Him.
Lesson #5: Sebastian taught all of us that EVERY life matters, no matter how
small. There is NO ONE who is insignificant in the eyes of God and EVERY life
has a purpose and plan. While Sebastian’s life was very short and he never even
lived to see the light of day or the faces of his family members, he sees more
clearly now than we do. While the rest of the world might say that his
existence was worthless or a waste, they are wrong! Sebastian taught us all
this and so much more. And most importantly, we now have another intercessor in
heaven cheering us home. We can never underestimate the eternal value of his
prayers for us still struggling to find our way. He taught us that EVERY life
is gifted with the ability to love and to help others see God and get to
heaven.
Sebastian Luke lived a short life, not long enough to even be
measured by the standards of the world, but he lived a life of greatness when
measured by God’s standards. May we all strive to live as rich and meaningful
of a life as my precious little Sebastian Luke.
